Chibi Land
by Chibi-Gakuto
Summary: A Prince, a Princess and an Evil Witch. Introducing you to a Slam Dunk fairy tale. Chibi Style. Mainly SenRu.


Title: Chibi Land

Author: Me

Warnings: Sakuragi-bashing and major usage of the word 'Chibi'.

Pairings: Me and Rukawa +gets threatened, stabbed and mutilated by Sendoh and SenRu fangirls+ Ok ok, it's Sendoh x Rukawa.

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Once upon a time in a far away Chibi Land, there lived a handsome chibi named Sensen. Sensen was the heir to the chibi throne. So when he was of legal chibi age, the throne minders decided that it was high time that they got a chibi prince bride for Chibi Prince Sensen. Yes, chibi prince bride not princess, because this is a boy love love land, where all women were dead, except for yours truly. Muhahaha. Ok back to the story. So the throne minders decided to get the prettiest bride for their beloved Chibi Prince Sensen. They got him...+drum roll+ Sakuragi Hanamichi! Who was indeed the prettiest, if you considered the chibi monkey species to be pretty. But our dear Sensen having perfect chibi vision and of a sound chibi mind, straight-out refused to wed his chosen bride.

Chibi Sensen threatened his parents and throne minders that he would turn straight if they insisted on him marrying that chibi monkey. Chibi Queen and Chibi King were so afraid that their beloved gay chibi son would horrors of horror turn straight and eeww kiss a chibi gal +yucks+ that they immediately called off the engagement. Chibi Sensen patted his chibi chest in relief and was chibily happy to escape his doom. However, Chibi Saru aka Hanamichi was furious! He could not fathom with his chibi mind (and I really mean CHIBI mind) how in the chibi world would anyone reject his tensai chibi self. Full of anger, Chibi Saru decided to seek revenge on poor unsuspecting Chibi Sensen. So he decided to hire the evilest wicked witch in all of Chibi Land to punish Chibi Sensen. He hired the Evilest Wicked Witch Chibi Ruru!

The Evilest Wicked Witch Chibi Ruru earned his reputation five years ago, when he first graduated from Chibi Witch Academy. In his first witch job, he was hired by Chibi Maki to remove the chibi mole from his face. But alas, Chibi Witch Ruru fell asleep half way through his spell chanting and poor Chibi Maki instead of being mole-less, ended up looking three times his actual age. Strike one! In Chibi Witch Ruru's second job, he fouled up his spell by falling asleep and transformed Chibi Hanagata into a freakishly tall chibi when all Chibi Hana wanted was perfect vision. Strike two! And in his third job, he screwed up once again when he made Chibi Mitsui's front teeth disappear instead of whitening them. Strike three! So dear ladies and gentlemen, that was how Chibi Witch Ruru gained the reputation of being the evilest wicked witch in Chibi Land.

But wait a minute, you said. The how in the world did Chibi Witch Ruru manage to graduate from Chibi Witch Academy? The reason was really simple. Cos due to the fact that Chibi Witch Ruru's fellow chibi witch classmates spent most of their time staring dreamily, conjuring up various fantasies or attempting to molest the perpetually sleeping Chibi Witch Ruru, instead of listening to what their Chibi Witch Sensei was saying. The Chibi Witch Headmaster decided to just pass Chibi Witch Ruru, even though he failed all his tests (slept through all of them), so that the other chibi witch students could put more effort into their studies rather than pouring all their effort and time thinking up of plans to make Chibi Witch Ruru theirs. Ahem, at least that was the official reason given by Chibi Witch Headmaster. The real reason was that Chibi Witch Headmaster just wanted to have Chibi Witch Ruru all to himself. Ok so let's go back to the present. +zap+

So Chibi Saru went to evilest wicked witch Chibi Ruru's house, knocked on his chibi door and proclaimed in a loud voice that wasn't very chibi at all, that he wanted to hire Evilest Wicked Witch Chibi Ruru today to cast an evil spell on Chibi Prince Sensen. He wanted an evil spell that would make Chibi Sensen's spiky crowning glory flat and unspiky for the rest of his chibi miserable life! Oh what an evil chibi! Evilest Wicked Witch Chibi Ruru glared at Chibi Saru with sleepy foxy chibi blue eyes and flat out turned down his request. Chibi Saru squealed with fury and demanded why not. So Chibi Ruru explained the reason to Chibi Saru. Mondays and Thursdays, he had to go over to Chibi Maki's house to serve him, as an apology for making Chibi Maki look old. Tuesdays and Fridays were reserved for Chibi Hanagata. And Wednesdays and Saturdays were for Chibi Mitsui. So the only rest day he had was Sunday, which was today, and which was the only day in the whole chibi damn week that he could lie down on a bed and actually sleep instead of being constantly engaged in other bed activities. +grin+

But Chibi Saru stubbornly insisted that Chibi Ruru cast his evilest wicked spell today. He roared, he screamed, he threatened, he begged, he pleaded. But Chibi Ruru still refused to do it. (Actually it was because Chibi Ruru had already fallen asleep on his feet.) Finally left with no choice, Chibi Saru pulled out his ultimate trump card. He waved a pair of concert tickets to Gackt's Christmas Eve concert at Tokyo dome in front of a dozing Chibi Ruru's face. Chibi Ruru immediately woke up and made a grab for the tickets. It was Gackt! Chibi Ruru's most favourite person in his whole chibi world! Chibi Saru grinned wickedly and told the now very alert and awake Chibi Ruru that if he agreed to cast his evilest and wicked spell today, the ultra rare Gackt concert tickets would be Chibi Ruru's. Chibi Ruru agreed to do the spell in a heart beat. And thus the both of them made their way to Chibi Prince Sensen's palace. Watch out Chibi Sensen!

Chibi Saru and Evilest Wicked Witch Chibi Ruru arrived at Chibi Prince Sensen's palace doors. Chibi Saru bashed opened the chibi doors and stormed up to Chibi Sensen's room, dragging Chibi Ruru behind him. Kicking open Chibi Sensen's room door, Chibi Saru stormed into the room and loudly proclaimed to the stunned chibi prince that today was going to be the first worst day of a lifetime of worst days in Chibi Sensen's chibi life and then went on a long winded rant on his own tensai-ness. However, Chibi Prince Sensen was not paying the lunatic ranting Chibi Saru a lick of notice. His chibi eyes were affixed on the vision of chibi beauty standing, ok more like leaning against the door, half asleep. Glittering hearts appeared in Chibi Prince Sensen's eyes. He was in love! Rushing up to his newfound love, Chibi Sensen scooped up the now sleeping Chibi Ruru into his strong chibi arms and carried him towards his not so chibi sized bed. After gently and tenderly placing his love on the soft bed. He went up to the still ranting Chibi Saru, picked him up by his collar and threw him down the royal chibi laundry chute. Chibi Sensen then excitedly and hurriedly ran to his room, placed a do not disturb sign on the door, locked it, barricaded it by hammering tons of boards across the door.

Finally satisfied that he would not be disturbed for a long long time. Chibi Sensen gently shook awake his sleeping beauty. And soon sounds of you know what were heard coming through the heavily guarded but (luckily for us) unsound proof door. A month later, after Chibi Sensen was finally satisfied (ok more like Chibi Ruru threatened to kick his you know where if he doesn't stop soon), Chibi Sensen wed his one and only true love, the Evilest Wicked Witch Chibi Ruru, in the grandest chibi wedding ever held in Chibi Land. And they all lived happily ever after. Except for Chibi Saru, who was still stuck in the laundry room. And Chibi Maki, Chibi Hanagata and Chibi Mitsui, who were all so upset, that they attempted to kidnap their Chibi Witch Ruru several times. But of cause needless to say, failed terribly every single chibi time, because Chibi Sensen guarded his beloved Ruru like a not so chibi guard dog 24/7 and never lets him out of his sight for even a chibi nanosecond.

The Chibi End!

**XX**

P.S. (or rather S.O.S) I am having major problems trying to get the text shown in the way I want. There are paragraph spaces, where I don't want them to be and no paragraph spaces, where I want them to be. That and other signs eg. asterisk seems to disappear. Why? Someone help please?


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